Dearest
Hannah,
Day 8 and
still going strong with these letters for you; I know you are enjoying these
which is all that matters.
What I love
about today’s letter is the countdown to coming and seeing you. This time next week
I will be next to you and would have done for a few hours. I love knowing that
this week’s letters are just another day away from seeing you. What I do wonder
is if I can carry these on whilst I am with you!
Today has
been a harder one for me. The boys have been the same as always and we did the
standard Home Ed lessons first thing this morning and then looked at making our
cooking activity. Within all of this they have been better than normal. I have,
however, found today a lot harder with missing you.
From the moment
I have woken up I have longed for you and even writing this I can feel it
across my chest.
I did grab a
call from you at lunchtime though which was lovely. What was interesting is how
we have swapped today with who is in the slump with missing the other.
Yesterday you really struggled with it and really missed me and I plodded on
and got through the day; although I obviously missed you just not like this. Yet,
today it has swapped.
You have been
great today and really productive. You have been on top of the housework which I
know has been bothering you for a while, sorted your food cupboards out and
cleaned them and managed to do all of this around parenting.
What I did
love is my input in helping with food and meal planning. I am unsure still if
you will do it or not but I am sure you will do some of it. I loved it though
as it was an action we did together to help within your situation.
I aim every
day to try and do something to show you love, support and encouragement. It
could be something like helping meal plan, sharing a Facebook post or buying
you flowers; whatever it is I try to find something to connect more within the
distance.
Last night we
had a rather serious chat about what you’ve been eating. You seem to have been
on a chocolate binge. As you said, if you are feeling low, in a slump or if you
are feeling great and happy you have been eating it despite knowing that you
can’t due to intolerance. I don’t think we came down to a root reason but it is
clear there are some hurdles in the way. You did say you weren’t going to have
any more and to take one day at a time and I do hope you can. What I do want to
tell you though is that it doesn’t matter if you do.
I would
rather us continue having an open and honest relationship than you feeling like
you can’t tell me something because I might be disappointed in you. I would
never be disappointed in what you do. I would rather support, encourage and
love and be with you through something that you are struggling with than think
that you are hiding something from me. Some things may be little, like hiding
the fact that you are eating stuff you shouldn’t, or they might be something
big that has happened; either way I am invested into a relationship with you
and that is literally through the good and the bad. I am sure if it was the
other way round you would be exactly the same for me.
We may have
distance but we are in it together. Good or bad.
I am off out
to my church group tonight which I am feeling a mixed about. I think that is
partially due to how I am missing you and just my general mood today. I am
looking forward though to see what God might have instore for me though.
Hopefully I will get the balance and it will be good and better than last week!
I am sure you
will do what you normally do and maybe have some time between the kids bedtime
and me getting home to do something for you.
I don’t know
if we are doing the TV phone chat or not but I suppose we will have to see how
we are a little later.
For now I
will sign off and plod through everything until we speak a bit later. I love
you so much and missing you terribly.
Love you,
Martyn