Dearest Hannah,
Day 13 and still going strong, although
I feel today’s letter may be a bit empty but we will see; knowing my luck I
will say that and end up writing loads!
Today has been weird in some ways.
I, as you know, had very little sleep
last night and was hounded by horrible nightmares that didn’t really go from
me. The ones that linger in you and you really feel them.
It left me tired and grumpy and really
just needing you.
Then had the, what sadly appears to be,
normal mucking around with technology and a little snap at each other. I regret
that so much. Technology isn’t our friend so we have discussed it, I have
apologise and we are changing the way we communicate with the hope that it won’t
cause us any further problems.
What I do love and appreciate is the
fact that, despite us having a little spat, you heard how tired I was and how
the nightmare was and could feel how I felt in that moment. Then on top of that
could relate to the technology situation. You are so good and understanding
with me and it is just another reason to why I love you.
You, however, were planning on going
into the shop today and work but it ended up changing due to interviews and too
many staff. Subsequently you have swapped and will be doing tomorrow and
Thursday. I think it turned out well today though; you actually had some you
time and just relaxed!
I, following on from the morning stress,
went to my dad’s for work and got annoyed at how my family keep changing things
in the house, especially getting rid of mums stuff. It really annoys me and
just makes me sad that they’re doing it!
Originally, I was going to put my
planned drawing time aside considering your plans had changed but the more I
thought about it the more I decided to still do it. I think it was just the
fact that I knew that I didn’t have a lot of time this week as I will be with
you and then thought a bit of worship music and drawing was a good idea.
Well those couple of hours turned into
four. Yet, I really enjoyed doing it. You were still around and although I felt
bad for not messaging you I did enjoy the time just creating and feel like I have
carved a big chunk or drawing time out. You, again, have been amazing. You didn’t
mind the time frame, relaxed, watched Holby and still supported the time I was
drawing and then more so after you saw the progress that I have made. No
partner has ever cared about my drawing or taken this much interest and I love
that you do.
Everything I do you show me support and
love. You really take an interest in the things I do and praise in my
highlights and support in my lower moments. You are like my personal
cheerleader.
I am still unsure if this is just you
and a part of us or if it will go down when we are more of an established
couple. Either way, I love it and thank you for it. I have never experienced
this before and it just shows how wonderful you are and how lucky I am.
Despite your relaxed and comfortable day
you have had a small stressful moment with handover. I totally get why you feel
anxious; the kids were later, you didn’t know the condition of them, if they
had done their homework, how it will impact your routine and then how your ex
will be.
Coincidentally, as I was writing that,
your daughter video called me to help with the homework so I suppose that
answers some of what I just wrote. However, just before they turned up you were
hit so badly with anxiety over the above so we stood and brought God into the
mix and prayed. I haven’t heard what happened yet but I do really hope that it
went well.
The thing we seem to do for one another
today is just support whatever the other person is going through; good or bad
and we have been there. I do love this about our relationship!
It is funny that a long distance relationship
can work so well in this aspect. You would think that being so far away that it
would be difficult but yet we seem to do it and today is proof of that.
Whatever happens we always seem to have each other’s back.
Tonight is a little different as we haven’t
got our normal Tv and Bake off chat as your dad has turned up. I have to admit
that I am a little gutted but I know it can’t be helped and hopefully we will
have that tomorrow now.
I have to say that I am missing you more
now. Really struck across me whilst writing this and I think it is just where
we have had a day of doing things and not really our standard chatting. The fact
we have done that is amazing but it does feel like we haven’t had much us
either; or it could just be the added factor of today, mixed up and downs and
no tv time. Whatever it is, I really do miss you.
I will just be counting down the time
now for our regular prebed call so I can hear your voice and see you face
again.
2 more sleeps my love! We can do this!
Love you,
Martyn
