Dearest Hannah,
Day 7! Woohoo! I never thought that a
small idea could become a great one that could carry on for a week, let alone
me thinking that I can comfortably do this for a while to come.
Today, like most this week, has been
mixed. I was rushed to get the boys after sleeping through my alarms. (I know. I always do it!) Then tried to play catch up
with literacy and then heading to the library. Despite that we have had a good
day, learnt a lot, got out, had fun and then relaxed together. It is mixed
though because I knew you weren’t feeling great, had a solid period of no contact
because you were working and then were hit with my normal lunchtime pang of
missing you.
You seem so down this week. I know you haven’t
been feeling well and that you haven’t had much sleep but I do feel that you
are getting hit more and more with missing me too. This is all probably a
combination of everything I have just said and just leaving you feeling on a
constant low and needing your person even more.
I have decided that we are going to skip
our TV phone chat and just have a normal call. I am hoping by doing this that
we can plan to go to sleep for 10.30pm. I hope we manage it! It will be almost
2 hours earlier than most nights and hopefully will fresh us both. I just hope
that we manage to do it.
We have had some good news today though.
You got your results back from the doctors and all cells are fine and whatever
the problem is that it’ll go back to normal by itself. I know I am relieved,
let alone how you must be feeling!
I have to remind myself of the prayer
that I prayed over you for this result. I remember at the time feeling like God
wanted me to consider the situation with Nat and how the “abnormal is normal
within gradient areas”. I prayed so hard that God would make that so and for
this to be the result just shows the good that He does for us; another sign to
know that God is with us as a couple.
I am, as mentioned above, missing you
too, a lot. It is weird to think about at times. I think it shows the progress
of our relationship. You said last night how we have progressed and how we both
reflect back to the first time we met and then to how upset we both were when
we parted at the summer.
I had a real heartbreak moment then. It
was clear right then that the only place I want to be is by your side for the
rest of my life.
You mean the world to me. Despite the distance
you do everything in your power to support and bring the best out of me. I love
you for this.
Everything in my day features you now. The moments
that I am thriving and loving and you are there to support me, praise me and
contribute to making the situation better. You do exactly the same when it is a
harder day.
The hardest thing for me to grasp with
us at times is how much you get me. You seem to really understand all the
different aspects to me and can do all you can to make it okay and to make me
feel less alone and isolated. I have never had this before. We just fit and
have that, previously mentioned, connection. I know there are times where understanding
me is a hard, like really hard, and that it takes an awful lot of patience to
push through but you do it. You see me, get me and are there by my side
whatever happens.
It has been making me think about what
you said with the school moving placement. That, whatever happens, WE have this
and can do anything together to make it work for the children.
I think this is why we miss each other
so much too. The connection that we have is so strong that we really do feel
the absence of the other.
Only 8 more sleeps until we see each
other again and I really cannot wait. You will be where you were meant to be
and by my side and I will be by yours.
Love you, Martyn
