Dearest
Hannah
So this is our
third day and our third letter and I am starting to feel that this is just a
wonderful thing between you and me. I love how this little idea has inspired
you to do the same and you did it so beautifully!
Yesterday,
after my second letter, I think we reached this turning point on the rough and
intense week that we have had. I think we pin pointed the problem that was
there for us. We worked out that the problem has been the adjustment to us
doing things alone again that we have, in fact, been cutting the other person
out a little and making ourselves more alone than we needed to be.
The thing
with us is that we both live in this independent world where we have to, no
matter what, survive independently. I suppose it is something that a lot of
relationships like ours must face. We have stepped into the world as a couple,
we have ultimately become each other’s person and yet when one of us falls,
literally in my case, we aren’t the person there to pick the other up. We are
restricted by the distance between us to be at each other’s side in the good
and bad times that we kind of fell into the depths of a crack that we both were
not expecting. We were the other person to get each other through the day but
then spending the wonderful time we had together throughout the summer meant
that we had that figuratively so when we were left in the mess of missing the
person that we stepped into ultimate independence and cut some of each other
out in the day to day.
This though
is all for the good. Our strength lies in the fact that we communicate so
openly to each other. If something is off we will soldier on and support the
other until we can make it right again. Of which we do this with love and
honesty.
One thing
that I haven’t spoken about yet is how happy I am that my faith has kick
started yours again. I have never found a relationship where I have felt that
God has been with us, helping us grow and allowing us to move with Him until
now.
I still stand
by the fact that the words I was given was for you and that we are definitely God
approved. Ultimately, and as the Chris Tomlin song suggests, if God is for us then
what can stand against us.
Our future
has been hanging on me today. Not in a bad way, so please don’t worry. Just
what our future will be like. There is so much about us that just fits
perfectly that it is easy to see our future in that way. My bed, for example,
is so empty without you and I sit and think about the fact that one day you
will be there next to me. Or how we both have this way of working in unison
when we make dinner; it makes me think of a beautiful dance around the kitchen
but connected as one. But, let’s face it, we do have this incredible way of
connecting and being on the same page with 99% of things!
Today has
been busy for me again. I had the chance to work this morning which was great
and I felt like I was in my element doing what I do best. Then I collected
Will. I know that we were meant to be going to that festival but the times and
organisation had changed for the day. The thing is though that we had a lovely
afternoon together watching a film and Come Dine with Me and that was nice in
itself. I do love the one to one time I get with him. It reminds me that he is
a beautiful child that I am sometimes too quick to dismiss.
Then that
just leaves the evening to be with you. I have loved how our relationship has
grown and continued to grow and we now spend that time watching shows together.
Although this deeply pangs my heart and makes me long for you more, compared to
the days when we have done it in person, it is another way that we connect; something
that gets me through the day.
It is the
little things like this that I treasure and love. The fact that we share our
lives with each other in any way that we can, good or bad, and know that you
are the other half of me.
My heart
still longs for you and I still miss you deeply but I am now counting down to
so much. 12 sleeps until we see each other. 33 sleeps until we spend two and a
half weeks (or near enough) together and do our first birthdays together. 100
sleeps until we have our Christmas time together. And, importantly, 10 months
until we can be together properly. They are little things for sure but it is
keeping me going.
For now, I am
happy that we have laughed more in the last 18 hours than we have all week.
I am always
thankful that you are my person, my friend and my true love.
Love you,
Martyn